Just Ax Santa Claws!
Gather ‘round, boils and ghouls, it’s time to tell old Santa Claws what you want for Christmas! I quit writing letters to the North Pole years ago but I never truly let go of that spirit. No, I’m not a huge fan of the season and its mixture of rampant consumerist greed and spiritual jockeying to see whose holiday is more important, but there are plenty of pleasures to be had in the company of kith and kin. I enjoy the exuberant joy of children opening gifts and the time I get to spend with those people most special to me in my life. Being a sort of twisted, horror obsessed guy I’ve surrounded myself with a lot of other twisted, horror obsessed folks so my gift list looks more like the set up for a B slasher film than it does the office Christmas party.
That said, let’s get out our pens and axe Santa for some holiday cheer ‘cause I’m about to give you some great gift ideas for that horror fiend in your life.
Where do I even begin with this list. Picking a horror movie for a fan is like trying to perform some kind of complicated neurosurgery with your eyes shut. This can be as intimate and personal a gift as any other and requires a certain degree of familiarity between giver and receiver. For the classic horror fans, try this:
This is an affordable collection featuring all of the first wave Universal monster movies. Dracula, The Wolfman, The Mummy, Frankenstein, Bride of Frankenstein, and The Invisible Man. These are movies that changed the landscape of horror cinema and have defined our cultural perceptions for more than 80 years. Looking for more something a bit more modern and bloody?
Or for something a bit more...campy:
This is like buying a movie for the horror fan in your life if not worse because readers can range from casual fans with dog eared paperbacks of the format to die-hard collectors who ravenously catalogue and maintain a library of hardback first editions. And if you’ve ever seen my little office at home, well, I think you can guess which one I am. So, here are a few ideas of where to look. You just need to make sure to know the person well enough to know their taste in literature.
For graphic novel fans, this zombie Christmas story is a beautiful, perfect tale to fill your holiday with horror. Of course, after interviewing the author, I might be a little biased towards it but I think it’s an amazing story with some very cool artwork.
This is another story I’ve reviewed and, like anything else I decide to write up, if I don’t think it’s good, I won’t waste your time telling you about it. Josh Hancock’s missive account of the life and trauma of a young girl personally affected by a serial killer cult is gripping and horrific.
Yeah, I’m also going to use this article to shamelessly self promote. Wouldn’t you? Between my books, my Redbubble shop (apologies because they suck at shipping) and my Patreon there’s a lot of really bizarre, really imaginative fiction to be had. But I’m most definitely biased on this one.
I am a huge music lover, though I’ll be the first to admit to having some...eclectic tastes. I’m into various forms of nerdcore rap, rock, filk (fictional folk music) and other bizarre sounds. I’m also a fan of dark cabaret and goth rock and the undisputed godfather of these genres in Aurelio Voltaire. Looking to get something for that dark minded audiophile in your life? Look no further.
Dark cabaret, goth rock, and a few songs about science-fiction icons that will make you cry with laughter. It’s a beautiful assortment of some of the best songs Voltaire has ever performed and it’s an even more perfect idea for the music lover in your life.
Not into the goth rock or filk scenes? No worries. How about we crank up some metal?! Try this on for size:
Goblin metal. Seriously. Just listen to No One Survives and you’ll be hooked.
Some people like giving subscriptions when they don’t know what else to give. I guess it’s a step up from a lotto ticket or an ugly sweater, provided, of course, it’s not the jelly of the month club. For horror fans, there are lots of amazing options.
Horror Pack is a monthly subscription box that sends DVDs or Blu-Rays to your home. Each month you add a new collection of horror movies to your library. It’s a bit pricey but looks so cool. Might be a great idea for that gift you give yourself. There are cheaper options, though.
Well, if you’re still at a loss for the perfect gift for the horror fan in your life, you could always get them a calendar. I know just the one.
It’s sexy. It’s scary. Thanks to the copious amounts of blood and the squeamish, prudish nature of British morality police, it’s also barely legal in the UK.
There’s still a few shopping days left until Christmas so get out there and get scary.
Dan Lee is a horror fiend and freelance writer with a special place in his heart for monster movies and demonic possession stories.
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