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Scary Christmas!

I’m all about making memories during the holidays. The fact that most of those memories could be considered traumatizing or deranged is of absolutely no consequence. While everyone else is decking the halls, here’s a few simple ideas to help you have a Scary Christmas this season.

New Traditions - The Nightmare Before Christmas

Just like The Night Before Christmas, The Nightmare Before Christmas can make for an excellent holiday tradition and the perfect gift for children of all ages. The book itself is short and full of beautifully detailed art by author/illustrator Tim Burton and is a great segue into watching the animated musical as part of your Christmas Eve traditions. The story is pretty much the same in book or film with the latter being more elaborated upon thanks to the medium. Jack, the Pumpkin King, is bored with Halloween and falls in love with Christmas. Wanting to give Santa a break and try his hand at holiday cheer, he usurps the holiday and almost destroys it as his love for Halloween shines brighter and turns toys and tinsel into eldritch horrors. Luckily, Jack swallows his pride in time to help Santa save Christmas and learns a valuable lesson about accepting and loving who you truly are.

Decoration - Middle of Beyond Ornaments

I’m getting ahead of myself. Here I’m suggesting what to put under the tree when I should be helping you find things to put on the tree. Luckily, Middle of Beyond (MOB) has an assortment of horror themed and twisted ornaments to help you deck your halls this holiday season. With everything ranging from bigfoot and baphomet to alien abduction nativity scenes and busts from your favorite old school horrors, there’s a lot to choose from. And while they’re not the only site out there selling horror themed ornaments and decorations for your Christmas tree, they are the only ones I’ve seen with a Cthulhu tree topper. You can also find ornaments, cards, and much more on Amazon and through other retailers.

Grub - Gingerdead Men

The easiest of all Christmas comfort food ideas is a cookie. Cookie cutters for gingerbread men and Christmas trees are plentiful and there are loads of gingerbread house kits all available through websites like Amazon and at your local grocery. The problem is, without having a creative mind and some skills, you’re going to have a time making that scary for old Saint Nick. Luckily, you’ve got me to help.

The easiest idea is to take what you’ve already got and give it a horror twist. Like this shot from a classic episode of the Simpsons where Marge makes Christmas cookies for the kids. “Christmas trees for the girls and bloody spearheads for Bart.” A tree shaped cookie cutter gives you the right shape while gray and red icing allows you to make it into a bloodied instrument. The same goes with gingerbread men. Taking a knife to the dough and severing arms and legs or putting tiny bite marks on their side before icing them with shades of green and red for blood and zombie goo turns them into gingerdead men with ease. But, if that’s a bit too much work for you, never fear, there’s a kit for that.

Amazon has two different, equally cool gingerdead men cookie cutters just for your Christmas needs.

If you’re crafty, you can keep it creepy even as the holidays fill your life with candy canes and caroling. Throw a Santa hat on that on that skeleton or fill that wreath with teeth, eyes, and tentacles. The only limit is your own imagination as you make holiday memories with your friends and family.

Dan Lee is a horror fiend and freelance writer with a special place in his heart for monster movies and demonic possession stories.

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